change

Somehow, when you're busy crying your eyeballs out one day, people you have not heard from for ages just keep messaging in. Maybe it's just God's way of reminding you of the bigger things in life.

I texted Benji while on my bus ride home, something i did with much apprehension - after all, we have not had a decent conversation since last November. Nevertheless, his reply while surprised me, made me even more upset.

"I think life's screwed. Everything's screwed."
"What's wrong?"
"Cca. Track. School. Studies. And him."
"You need a break. Really."

His reply reminded me of how last year my defenses kept all my detractors so angry at me. So so annoyed at me yet still helpless to do anything able to make life too hard for me to take.

I wonder where that shuyun went.

The one with the I Dont Give You A Damn attitude. The one who took all knocks thrown her way with a grin and delivered it back thrice as hard. The one who didnt really care how others think or what they did. The one who refuses to back down. The one benji called tough.

I wonder if what they say being true and that jc life changes people.


Or maybe what jy said is the truth instead;
that you're the one who chooses to change.